This is something we all hear a lot whether we’re just comparing material things or we are comparing where we are compared to someone else.
I always struggle with the second one and especially being an artist and wanting to someday go on tour and write music that really speaks to people, just having big dreams that are way too far away from where I am right now. This summer I’ve been going to lots of concerts from artists that I love and look up to and most of them are my inspiration for getting even this far into making music. I saw All Time Low this past weekend and that’s when it hit me really hard that all of these groups that I’m going and watching have what I want and it still feels like I’m so far away from being there. I’ve never really thought that I wanted to make it really big like ATL but even small bands like a group I went to see called Echoheart. Sure they played at a dinky venue in front of only ten people and I was the only one there to see them but I don’t even care if that’s all I get, I just want to be there.
I finally got sorted through all of my thoughts yesterday after a few days of just feeling crappy about the work that I’m doing, and I just took a deep breath and went to a spin class to clear my mind for a while. I know I’m pushing myself to hard and I know that these things don’t just happen overnight but it still gets me when I see kids that are younger than me getting to the dream that I want faster than I am.
I think part of my problem is also that I feel like I don’t have a place to start at home. I can always get random people from halfway around the world to comment on my YouTube videos or share my stuff on Facebook and Twitter, but it doesn’t help as much when I feel like no one in my area is listening. Of course I’m always happy when I get a new comment or like no matter who it is because that means that at least someone is listening.
I’m still working at it though and I’m trying to learn new skills and I’m writing new parts for songs everyday and I think I’ve gotten writing a song in a month down to a science. Now I just need to start writing the songs that I want to write and I think I’ll be better and on my way in the direction I want to be going.
If you didn’t see my last post my music is now on Spotify so go check that out. “When The Sun Goes Down” will be up on the 25th. I’m also still planning something big for the end of the year or early next year, depending on how fast I can get it done.