life · Uncategorized · Writing

My 3 Biggest Fears

My first fear is of clowns or people in masks. I don’t know where this fear originated from but I know that I start to panic whenever I see anyone dressed as a clown or a mascot for school. I think it’s more of a problem with not being able to see people’s faces.

My second fear is a fear of balloons. I also don’t know where this fear originated from but I also start panicking when I am anywhere in the vicinity of a helium balloon and I know that it could pop at any second. There was one time that my grandmother ordered a bouquet of balloons for my birthday when I was younger and the lady came to deliver them, I answered the door and took one look at her, said no thank you and closed the door in her face. Along with my fear of them popping, I also hate watching them fly away like when someone accidentally lets go of the string on the balloon. I have another funny balloon story from high school, I was in crew and I had a short little coxswain friend who got asked to prom, the boy who asked her stuffed her car with a bunch of helium balloons and I was forced to sit in the car for about 15 minutes while she freaked out and talked to the guy. We ended up throwing the balloons out the window while driving down the road to drop me off at church.

My third fear is dolls and stuffed animals and I do believe that this is completely rational especially with the things that I have seen. Maybe not so much with the stuffed animals but definitely with the dolls. I cannot be in a museum or a house where there are antique dolls because they just creep the hell out of me and I know that for antique dolls they were usually made with a child’s real hair and therefore could have a spirit attached and I just don’t have time to deal with any of that. Now, I think my fear of stuffed animals is legitimate too but not because spirits can attach to them but because I had a very real nightmare when I was younger that had to do with the stuffed animals that my brother had in his room. One night I had to sleep in my brother’s room and he had bunk beds, the bottom bunk was obviously for sleeping and the top was filled with giant stuffed animals, there was a huge gorilla hanging over the edge of the rail. During my dream I was on the floor of my brother’s room surrounded by red eyed gargoyles and I was screaming for someone to save me and then I just happened to look up and see the gorilla looking down at me with the same red eyes and from then on I have never owned another stuffed animal, at least not giant ones. I explain this to a lot of people and most of the time I get laughs but to me it’s very serious.

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