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Feedback

Hey guys, I know I just posted about my new story and I have started writing the first draft but for right now I’m focusing solely on my supernatural fantasy novel Finding the Princess. I am participating in Camp NaNoWriMo for April and I am trying to rework some parts of the story and hopefully give longer more helpful explanations of certain things that happen throughout the story. In order to give more explanation I will need a bit of feedback to know what is confusing readers.

Now I have two questions: Would a few of you be willing to give just small bits of feedback or questions? And would it be easier to just read through the whole story and then give feedback or just one chapter at a time? If it’s just one chapter at a time I will post the chapters starting from tonight and going through the end of the month.

Here is the description of the story:

Two sisters separate themselves from birth because they are too different frFinding The Princess Coverom each other. One is a rebel and gets treated like one by her whole family. The other is a daddy’s girl and she’s ready to do anything to get the throne. It turns out that she’s only a daddy’s girl because he had been brainwashing her for 8 years and at 10 years old she finally realized, her sister hadn’t done anything, but because she was different she was forced to change herself to fit into her father’s picture of their lives. Death is the only option to get out of his sick game. The day the rebel army storms the castle she kills herself in front of her younger sister. The younger girl now has a new purpose for her life as she too kills herself to travel to Earth and find her older sister and protect her from all of the evil things that will try to reach her.

Ivy was perfectly normal until she entered high school. That’s when her anger started to get explosive, she caused earthquakes in her classrooms if someone happened to make her angry. The last straw was burning her house down…with her friends inside. Her parents send her away to a correctional high school where she quickly makes a few close friends.

Little does she know that the friends she is about to make were planted at the school for her. The younger sister, Kathryn, is also at the school waiting for the test to prove that Ivy is her older sister. What will happen once the word gets out about the young princess being at the school? How far are these people willing to go to protect this girl?

Please let me know if there is anything confusing about this description before I start posting the chapters.

Thank you!

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One thought on “Feedback

  1. I would like to review and comment on your writing. Your style seems very different from mine, and I’m hoping we can learn from each other.

    My preference is to read one chapter at at time rather than the whole story at once, although the summary you provide in this post will be helpful in analyzing individual chapters.

    One thing that’s not clear from your summary is the relationship between this fantasy world and Earth. Both sisters seem to know that dying in the fantasy world sends them to Earth — does this happen to all people who die in the fantasy world, or just some people?

    Looking forward to reviewing your next post . . . think that’s what I’ll do now . . .

    Like

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